The Happiness Answer
September 23th, 2008
Think about it: What are some of your life’s achievements? It’s okay. No one’s watching. Go ahead. What accomplishments make you proud of yourself?
Your achievements
Now ask yourself, how many of your life accomplishments did you achieve completely on your own? Let me answer that question for you. The answer is “none.” Our successes always come with help.
So, answer this question, “Who were the people who contributed to each of your successes?” Pause to think about these people.
Now, I’ll bet you’re feeling a bit of gratitude right now. You have just reminded yourself how important others have been to you in your life. You have not traveled alone.
Now, most of us feel some amount of stress when we think about what it will take to achieve our dreams. We think, “How in the world are we going to get from where we are to where we hope to be?” Luckily, the answer is “not alone.” Other people will help us.
The first answer
So, what’s the best way to achieve your life goals? Here’s the first answer. Look to the people who have already helped you. Reach out to them. Tell them why they are important to you and how they helped you succeed in the past. Let these people know how valuable they are to you. If you feel that you’ve thanked someone before, consider doing it again in an even more meaningful way. Keep these people in your corner.
University of Michigan psychologist Christopher Peterson wrote in his book, A Primer in Positive Psychology, “In our experience with many dozens of gratitude letters … they ‘work’ 100% of the time in the sense that the recipient is moved, often to tears, and the sender is gratified as well.”
The gratitude factor
Gratitude researcher Robert Emmons recently reviewed the growing evidence that feelings of gratitude improve the quality of our lives. In one study he found that people who “wrote up to five things for which they were grateful or thankful” on a weekly basis “exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week.”
Positive Psychology co-founder Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania, and his colleagues also discovered that when people took a few minutes each evening to write down “three good things” that happened to them during the day, their happiness increased and their depressive symptoms decreased.
Emmons found in another study that people who feel gratitude are more likely to help others. Emmons wrote, “Gratitude leads not only to feeling good, but also to doing good.”
This week
There are three parts to your mission this week.
(1) Write down two to three of your greatest achievements. Briefly describe what you accomplished.
(2) Think about the principal people who helped you on your path to these achievements. Take a few minutes to deeply reflect: Who made your successes possible? You may find that some non-obvious names will surface. More people help us in life than we often realize.
(3) Have you properly thanked all of these people? If you have not, consider reaching out to them over the next few months in a way that would be meaningful to them.
Join us next week for Part II of your success mission. It will make a positive difference in your life.
David J. Pollay’s book, Beware of Garbage Trucks!™, and his CD program, Gratitude Is Everything!™, are due out this Fall. Mr. Pollay is the creator of The Law of the Garbage Truck™ (www.bewareofgarbagetrucks.com). He is a syndicated columnist with the North Star Writers Group, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ DVD, and an internationally sought after speaker. Mr. Pollay is the founder and president of the personal coaching and seminar organization, The Momentum Project (www.themomentumproject.com).
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