Dear Victoria

By Victoria Howard

Dear Victoria,

I have been writing to a man who has been in prison since 1995. He was in a fight in a bar and killed a man. Wes, is only 33 years old. I am a 55-year-old widow.

I started writing him when I saw his picture on “Prison Pen Pals” site, and fell in love.

We have been corresponding for 6 months. He tells me that he loves me and wants me to come and meet him in person. The problem is that he thinks I am 25 years old. I am overweight and not very pretty. When I sent him a picture of ‘myself’, it was one taken 30 years ago.

I know he is a good person and the killing was an accident.  Everybody deserves a second chance in life. My husband died three years ago, and I am a very lonely woman.  I really want to visit Wes, but I know when he sees me he will never talk to me again.

What should I do?

Lonely and scared

Dear lonely and scared,

First of all—lonely or not—you must be crazy to want a relationship with someone who has killed a person. Yes, people make mistakes and deserve a second chance, but when someone takes a life, the red light is flashing!

Honey, the warning signs are there—pay attention! He obviously has a terrible temper that he can’t control.

Second, this is not a relationship that is built on solid ground.  You started out by lying and deceiving him. He probably won’t like it that you are not what you said you were.  But regardless, these ‘men behind bars’ have lost touch with the outside world. They prey on naive women who they can control. No woman should be that lonely that she has to get involved with a Scott Peterson.

I suggest you start getting around some quality people, and getting back in the swing of things. Find a man who appreciates you—the way you are. You are still a young woman who deserves happiness.

Good luck,

Victoria